Stop wondering if your guy gets jealous when other men look at you. Everyone is guilty of a little jealousy now and then. When it becomes controlling or borders on possessiveness is the point it becomes toxic and a genuine problem.
If you were to really think about it, there are probably moments when the shoe is on the other foot. If someone takes a second look at your partner, you might feel yourself tense up.
These aren’t things to get angry at a mate about. It’s not anyone’s fault if another person finds you or them attractive.
In fact, it’s quite flattering. It gives the recipient a boost of confidence and the person they’re with a heightened ego because you’re a couple, and that person can only merely look.
Instead of letting jealousy become a barrier or, worse, develop into an insecurity, let’s look at a few scenarios to see what you can do instead of allowing anger to prevail.
How can you handle jealousy aside from getting angry
Everyone will experience jealousy. It’s only natural if you have any sort of passion in your relationship as a girlfriend. The thing to be mindful of is that you don’t allow it to progress into a toxic behavior where a partner is attempting to control your life.
There is no room for possessiveness or obsession in a relationship. Each person is there because they want to be until they no longer do. At that point, there is a choice to move on freely without consequence.
If the jealousy you experience is restrictive or demanding, it’s wise to reconsider the partnership. Under normal circumstances, the following scenarios should give no cause for anger; instead, stop and reason before reacting.
Put yourself in a similar position, and then cut your partner a bit of slack. Let’s learn.
When your man notices you looking at other guys
Yes, of course, this will create jealousy with your boyfriend or spouse. And if you do as we mentioned and put yourself in his position, you would be as jealous if he were to look at someone else. It’s merely instinctual.
In fact, the suggestion is that men are more likely to notice an attractive person than the female population. And yet he will still find you doing this as an act of “betrayal,” if you will. Still, there’s no reason for a disagreement or an argument.
If you’re secure in who you are and the gentleman you see is also a confident person, admire beauty together. When you’re caught noticing someone, let the guy in on what it is you’re admiring and then segue into what you admire most about him.
The man might even add a comment or two to what he feels the other person has going for them when you include him instead of being sneaky.
When your guy sees another person noticing you – and believes you’re enjoying it
Yes, you are enjoying it. And you know what? That’s ok. It makes everyone feel good when they fix themselves up, go out on the town, and people take notice.
That’s a significant confidence boost. In most cases, people don’t give a lot of thought to the individuals who are glancing in their direction. Still, their partners are paying too much attention to what’s happening around them.
Instead of a battle developing, it’s essential to remind a boyfriend that you’ve already made your choice in them. So, you’re his girlfriend. Instead of him feeling threatened by strangers, the guy needs to have more trust in your loyalties.
You have nights out with friends
While everyone wants the intimacy and closeness that a partnership brings, individuals strive to feel autonomous as well. No one wants to lose their sense of self; instead, maintain individuality and independence.
That means there will likely be separate interests and hobbies that each will engage in. They will also enjoy time with close friendships established apart from each other. For some men avoiding jealousy can be challenging in this scenario.
The only conceivable thought process that one could fathom for jealousy in this situation is that a boyfriend must believe that you would forget when with a group of friends that you’re in a couple and not single.
Another notion is that even though the guy has his friends’ night, perhaps he feels neglected and jealous of your friends because you’re choosing to spend time with them over him.
In either situation, there needs to be a discussion started to ascertain boundaries in the relationship. If things work one way for one person, there should be no differences in how they work for the other partner.
This is more of a case of insecurity and needs to be nipped before it grows out of control.
When your boyfriend finds a stash of old love letters from your ex
Your current boyfriend might be growing into a serious commitment. Perhaps, you’ve discussed marriage, even going so far as browsing at rings. Then out of the blue, the guy approaches you after finding letters written to you from an ex that you held onto all this time.
First, the suggestion should be that everyone steps away from the situation while emotions are high. Rational discussions aren’t possible when people are at the height of anger or, perhaps, in your case, panic. Maybe you forgot you had these tucked away.
While you take a few moments to gather your thoughts, it’s wise to recognize why this would be so triggering; Still, it’s vital to ensure it’s made clear that it’s not the life you chose nor the one you want.
It will be necessary to explain why you felt the need to hold onto these and advise what you intend to do with them from this point. The jealousy in this situation is more a reaction to feelings of hurt with a need for reassurance from you that there’s nothing to fear.
Most people in an exclusive, committed relationship would react similarly. In the worst-case scenario, it can be exceptionally detrimental with some couples not strong enough to withstand the circumstances. These usually end in a break-up.
When your man is trying to gain more attention from you
It’s not out of character for a guy to use jealousy to their benefit if they can. Some will make efforts to try to make you jealous with the hope of garnering more attention and affection but avoid instilling an argument.
These tactics can go numerous ways. In one scenario, the boyfriend might suddenly report the hiring of a new female colleague who has just started working for his firm.
He’ll go so far as to show you her company photo, hoping to prey on any insecurities you might harbor. He’s not interested in this person but wants to strike a reaction from you.
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Fortunately, you’re not insecure and can handle the situation without reacting negatively. Still, when a partner resorts to these measures, needs are not being met. That means it’s time to work on communication to find out where there’s dissatisfaction.
There could also be a situation when perhaps you’ll be scrolling through your spouse’s social network and see a photo of him with a gal pal in a rather suggestive pose. Usually, that might threaten you, but you trust your husband.
Plus, the fact that it’s published publicly diminishes the potential for ill intentions. Instead of becoming jealous or reacting, maybe your spouse’s hope, you can quickly resolve the issue.
Asking him straight up if you need information instead of merely presuming and lashing out upon his arrival is much more rational. And you can watch him squirm a little.
In the last scenario, a man will always boast when they receive a compliment from someone but will make a huge deal if it can potentially make you jealous.
Jealousy from a partner strokes a guy’s ego. It made them feel confident in their relationship and validated as a partner.
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Sadly, they can’t just take your word for those things. The best way to handle these instances is to simply agree, emphasize, and expand on what’s been said.
When you let them know, it’s no surprise someone would complement these traits because they’re authentic, as are so many other wonderful things about them. That’s an ego boost that matters and lasts.
No one would feel jealous if there weren’t fear and passion or love. When you adore another person, the passion produced can lead to a fear that someone or something might take them away.
When there’s a hint of that happening, it instills jealousy which is basically fear intertwined with insecurity. The important thing is not to let that overwhelm you. A little jealousy will be natural for all of us.
There’s a fine line between healthy and not so much. It’s all about self-control for both girlfriends and boyfriends. If you or your partner are jealous to the point of overwhelm, it’s vital to reach out for help from a therapist or counselor to regain control. That sort of toxicity will ultimately result in the relationship ending otherwise.