When someone you love tries to avoid you by eye contact or in other ways, that could mean lots of things. No matter if that person is your hand, wife, or boyfriend, there are some hints to look for to encrypt that body language in your relationship.
Body language is a form of communication no one can control, even when we have difficulty expressing feelings or emotions in any other manner. Men often struggle with conveying the way they feel regardless of whether these emotions are pleasant or not so great.
One way to decipher this “code,” if you will, is through eye contact. That, though, is not an exact science because if you don’t know the person well. It’s unclear what their stare or avoidance of eye contact suddenly means. Sometimes, even if you do know the person, it’s tough to translate these messages.
Unless you’re a bold person (guilty), you’ll forever be wondering or asking friends of friends what they think. A blunt individual will use their communication skills and simply ask the person to avoid misinterpretation or, worse, wasting everyone’s time.
That doesn’t mean going up with the notion of saying, “Hey, what’s up with the eye contact.” It’s a matter of simply introducing yourself if you don’t know the person or, if you do, maybe just asking how they’re doing. Tact is key.
Why would a mate avoid eye contact suddenly?
Suppose someone has known you for a little while with no trouble looking at you and holding conversations. But suddenly they can’t seem to hold a gaze. In that case, you could derive a number of interpretations from their avoidance of eye contact.
The same is true if you have a romantic mate who is abruptly unable to look you in the eye. You can divulge much from that lack of body language.
But is it wise to try to decipher the lack of body language with the potential for misinterpretation?. Or is it better to use constructive communication and talk to the person about avoiding you?
I’m all about having a conversation, especially if it’s a romantic partner. But let’s look at some of the potential reasons for avoiding eye contact. So when you go to this person or possibly to a mate, you’re somewhat prepared with what you derive from the circumstances.
An affair or cheating
For a romantic mate, the first thing many partners believe when there is a sudden change in behavior, such as avoiding eye contact or odd body language, is that there has been an infidelity or a significant other is considering the option. You can verify this by searching for phone numbers in your husband’s pocket, or phone or using online tools to see if he hides dating profiles and social media accounts with different photos.
Of course, no one can presume this is the case merely from a lack of visual connection. Perhaps, there’s a surprise party in your future. Maybe if you pay close attention, none of your friends are looking you straight in the eye since no one is great at keeping a secret, including your own partner.
The best solution is to reveal your fear with a discussion allowing your spouse the opportunity to explain the lack of eye contact. There could be a straightforward explanation that will squash your stress and anxiety in a matter of a few-minute conversation.
On the other hand, there is infidelity or the possibility. But opening a line of communication will divulge the secret. It gives you the opportunity to choose between working through trust issues to repair a partnership or walking away from a situation you find irreparable.
There is a crush happening
Perhaps you have a friend of a friend who avoids eye contact any time you see each other. You might honestly feel uncomfortable not understanding why this person won’t look at you. Instead, he’s looking down or “around” you.
It then becomes apparent the individual might have a slight crush on you and may not be ready to let you know they’re interested. It’s possible there could be some intimidation, particularly if there are certain insecurities. There is even a lack of confidence leading the person to believe you might find them “less than” in some way.
The best way to deal with a situation like this is to be inclusive when seeing friends. That means holding a conversation with each person together and individually. Hence, it’s clear you’re open to friendship if nothing else.
That will make the mate feel more comfortable. Though there might be some blushing, with the potential for coming clean about having an interest in you.
- Read also: Do guys get jealous when others look at you?
Another person is in the picture
Avoiding eye contact could be warranted if there is another person the individual is supposed to be directing their gaze upon. When you notice a mate is “fidgety,” looking everywhere but at you in an almost nervous way, it could very well be they have a partner in the vicinity they’re trying to hide.
The person doesn’t want you to realize they’re either being deceitful or attempting to avoid getting into trouble with their significant other by talking to you.
In this case, it’s wise to ask them if they’re waiting for someone to clear the air quickly.
You don’t want an angry spouse approaching you for having a conversation with their mate.
There is no interest
While on the one hand, a mate might act coy because there’s a strong interest in you, the other reason for avoiding eye contact or giving different cold vibes is because there is a strong dislike for you.
It’s tough to recognize that someone might genuinely get bad energy from us and therefore grow to “despise” us, but it does happen.
The way to tell the difference between whether there’s an attraction or a dislike is that the individual will ensure that you don’t get too close and avoid any possibility of touch.
Body language is about more than mere eye contact. It’s vital to add in the other components, especially when trying to discern fondness from a complete lack of interest in you.
This person could mistakenly (or rightfully) have the impression you have a crush on them with attempts to avoid all interaction suddenly to prevent any potential for you to believe that it might be mutual.
Simply nervous or shy
In some cases, eye contact is suddenly averted because an individual becomes nervous or shy around a person when they get to know them and finds that mate perhaps somewhat intimidating for one reason or another.
It could be due to you having a powerful personality. Perhaps the person finds you exceptionally attractive, or maybe the individual has a social anxiety that prevents them from interacting well with people.
When a new romantic partnership involves one person who feels this sort of intimidation or shyness, that poses challenges.
It’s not only difficult for the one feeling that sense of maybe “awe” (for lack of a better word). But for the one placed in a position of superiority (also for lack of a better word), not wanting to have to be the stronger of the two in virtually every situation.
There should always be a side-by-side, never one in front of the other in a partnership or one pushing the other ahead so that the shy one can hide in the shadows.
What can you do
Before you can react to someone avoiding eye contact with you, it genuinely depends on the reason for the body language.
When speaking about romantic partnerships, there are only a few reasons why someone would suddenly avert their attention away from your gaze. In each case, there is usually a common denominator.
Generally, there were circumstances where the partner did something or is about to do something wrong. That could be an affair or broke the dishwasher and is trying to hide it from you. In either scenario, there’s a lie involved.
A partner knows that lying about cheating will break trust in a relationship. That’s not something a mate can simply rebuild with their partner. Once found out, it often results in the end of the couplehood. This is the reason when someone is lying to the person they love; they can’t readily look them in the eye.
But it also entirely means when your mate is planning a surprise bash for you. They won’t be able to keep that secret. You’ll be able to find ways to make them talk; bribery almost always works.
In reality, it’s natural for people to look away from those they talk to every so often during the conversation. In some cases, significant breaks in eye contact might mean there’s a desire to change the topic, or perhaps the connection is no longer there.
Often the response is an unconscious one that we need not make a deal over or take personally.
When it comes to a romantic relationship, avoiding eye contact is typically based on a falsehood. Whether that’s something simple or severe will be determined by opening a line of communication.
It can’t be emphasized enough. The only way to deal with any issue in a partnership won’t be found by guessing or presuming or playing games but through discussing. Perhaps arguing, maybe battling but ultimately with some form of communication.